- have you ever ask yourself how i feel?
you always want me to put myself in your shoes, but have you ever think of how i feel?
the pain and sadness each and everytime you commented on me?
you makes me really wonder.
have you ever say these ugly things to your wormie before?
have you ever notice that i am always smiling when i am very sad?
have you ever think about the pain i get when you say those stuff.
have you ever ask me how i feel when i still see those stuff in your computer?
have i not give you enough time?
3 months, is not long nor short.
i tried my best to be whatever you want but everytime you only know/see the failure side.
have you ever commented me on how well i did or how good i've tried to be the very best?
no you never.
i used to hear you say about your wormie, on how good she is how independent she is and such.
but all you say to me is be more independent, you want a independent gf, be more sensible and such.
am i really that bad that you've to say all these and never realise how i feel? is everything i do to make you happy a mistake?
i feel like a fool at times, why am i giving so much when all you can see is just the negative.
i seriously have no ideas why am i feeling these way. i dont know how to feel anymore and i dont know how to make you feel happy and how to do things to make you feel right.
will you please teach me.
it really hurts when things just go wrong and make me feels like i am the one in fault.
you never understand the plight i am in, how i feel because you never once bother to ask.
even when i tells you, all you can say is "bibi, its all the past and you know i love you only.".
its always the same thing you say but i never once feel it this way.
i feel so insecure, i feel like a dumbfuck to be crying over it again and again.
i am very useless.
sometimes i see the way you talk about her or how people talk about her to you, i just feels like giving up.
but i dont know how. whenever i feels like giving up, you just appear and makes me throw away this thought.
you used to read her blog everyday and keeping yourself updated with how she do and how she feels, i know now you dont. but how many times have you read mine?
how many times have you tried to read and really understand it?
how many times have you asked me about how i feel?
i keep comparing myself to her, why she can be so perfect in your eyes and why i cant?
why why why?
does the problem lies with me or you only sees her?
maybe i shouldnt have a bf, maybe i am not the cut to have one.
maybe i should just be alone.
maybe i should...
Ps: i am really at the end of my wits. i dont know what to do except by loving you. and i really love you.
anyway you will never read this because you dont bother to read.
crying alone on my own )):
i miss you.
