friday, o3o8o7
arvindt is gone. he had fly to india. it was pretty sad. i cried. cried damn hard. thru this one year, i see separation in this group of people. they left and they came in. grenade, joshuel, jus and the rest left because of shirt problem. ze en left because of army. i do feel sad when parting comes. in Chinese there's a saying, there's no banquet that will never end.
i enjoy times with arvindt, he tell jokes, and do things that are funny. when he left, the table that we sat seems empty and cold. jiaming, tom, engkiong and i don bare to let arvindt leave. although we only knew each other not for long, but the bonding in us is strong. hopefully he will study hard there. he said, he entered the plane with tears in his eyes, he say he's bored in india without us. we feel the same too. but some things cant be help.
happiness is always short-lived.
saturday,040807
i was suppose to meet him. waited an hour for him. he was late. so i went home and he came. missed it again. i will not say anything this time. it just that weare not fated to be.
okay, before that i was with roy, en, ahwei, david. ah wei asked fro my number and so he msged me. and ask me to be his girlfriend. i was like so freak out because i only seehim once and he ask this kind of question. so i replied that i dont feel like going into a relationship. but the truth is, i still love him. okay, so the whole day i was in yishun with jiaming, engkiong, roy they all.
it was never meant to be.
sunday, 050807
slacked at ljs, saw ah de, chee hong, liuhui, kok xiong and khai. then went down to 761, one person that i dont know have problems and so they went down to help and brought me along. then roy ask alvin to take care of me, like got use like that. then alvin make me chase him all the way to mrt station! he pissed me off. he should die! at night, he came, and we met. he was trying hard to talk to me, ask me to give up. but i know he will never succeed.
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okay, i was sad and i admitted. i got the answer i want for my question, although it was never the answer i want, it's enough, at least i know where i stand and i know my limit. everything he said on the phone really hurt me alot. maybe he doesnt know it, but it's like thousand of knives piercing thru my heart. is a feeling that he will never know. i cried. i really missed him alot. and i really wish for him tonight. but i know whatever i ask was never possible. it's just a dream.
i walked aimlessly, i dont know why. it seems to affect me alot.
happiness is always short-lived and sadness is always prolonged.
things just never seems to go my way. he's touched. i know, people that reads it says they are touched.but to me, being touch is already meaningless. i know i dont want it to be touch only. i want him to feel like how he feel in the past for me. but its all gone. i wished for one last chance but i know it will never come, i wished hard. lord, please give me one last chance, to treasure and never regret.
you had never know how much i missed you.
how much i wished for you in this icy night.
but the truth is you're gone.
and i wished for you to be back here.
i miss his smell.
if today is impossible,i'll always make tomorrow possible. that's how much i love and want you back.
if today is impossible,i'll always make tomorrow possible. that's how much i love and want you back.
